A couple of years ago, I decided to invest heavily in the study of success mindsets and found that managing your thoughts and mental state was a key success factor. I kept hearing from all of the greats how much mindset impacts any life endeavor, but it took me some time to realize that in terms of getting ahead, I was hyper-focused on skill, credentials, physical elements, and outside factors. When this focus didn’t bring me all the benefits I’d been hearing about, I decided to refocus my attention on mindset, including the law of attraction, meditation, emotional health, and managing your thoughts. I read about mindset and all these related ideas for many months, practicing various approaches more consistently and learning about the many laws of the universe.
A major takeaway for my coaching practice is that my clients can get all the help in the world on cash flow strategies, digital marketing, or access to capital, but oftentimes their biggest cause and cure in their business (and life) success was often their own mental management. Doubt, fear, worry, anxiety, complaining, anger, lack of forgiveness, and gratitude do way more to keep us from our 7-figure success than poor credit or bad marketing. And if you’re in a funk or hopeless state about your life and/or business situation, you’re usually plagued with these things.
This blog is for the sistah who’s feeling depressed by her current business situation. Maybe she was fired from a job and the entrepreneurial venture isn’t yet paying off. Perhaps she is experiencing grief from the loss of a relationship and so she’s managing a broken heart. She may be battling microaggressions, hair discrimination, or invisibility at work. She may have children who are struggling in life right now. Whatever it might be, this blog is for you, Sis – but it’s for you WHEN you are ready to pull yourself out of that funk. Because at some point you’ll need to make a choice to save yourself. When you do, here’s the “Take Your Power Back List” of things to do for 90 days straight:
TIP # ONE: You’re stuck in a funk, the first thing to do is change your thinking. You’re probably not in a mode where your thoughts are encouraging and motivating. You’re probably not actively cultivating positive and empowering thoughts. So find active chaperones for your thoughts. This just means watch videos, read books, watch movies, and talk to people who will guide you with positive, empowering thinking. When positive thoughts are all around you, you will be able to receive them, absorb them, and eventually cultivate them yourself.
Assignment: Create a power playlist of motivational videos, songs, scriptures, and affirmations. Everytime a negative thought comes, say out loud that you reject it. Then listen to the power playlist.
TIP # TWO: Cleanse your body of toxins that contribute to your emotional state. Nutricide is real. Cut down on television and excess computer work as well.
Assignment: Clean your refrigerator out, detox, and start eating brain foods. Increase your water intake. Pick up some vitamin B12 and D and see a traditional or naturopathic doctor about probiotics and solutions for gut health.
TIP # THREE: Do something unsolicited and kind to help someone or just to make them happy. Expect nothing in return. I have found joy in serving others and in random acts of kindness.
Assignment: Visit someone who’s sick or elderly and help them around the house for a day. After that, write a love letter to your husband, donate to someone’s college fund, volunteer for someone’s event, or choose some other service assignment – no matter how small – each week.
TIP # FOUR: Stay close to God the Creator and seek guidance. Read scripture and pray daily. Don’t just ask for help – listen intently.
Assignment: Get a calendar devotional book and read each day’s lesson or scripture before praying about it and meditating on it.
TIP # FIVE: Listen to an empowering, happy song.
Assignment: find a song like “Happy” or “Yes” and play it every day as your theme song for the morning or car ride to work.
TIP # SIX: Crystals are healing stones that have been used since ancient times. Wear and surround yourself with crystals. I love crystals and the energy they bring to my life. Healing stones are thought to promote the flow of good energy and help rid the body and mind of negative energy for physical and emotional benefits. I wear sodalite around my neck.
Assignment: Google “crystals for positive thinking, crystals for clarity, etc.” and learn more about which crystals might help you get out of your funk. Then go to a local crystal store and purchase some for your bedroom or to wear around your neck.
TIP # SEVEN: Move! Dance, do yoga, walk, work out – just do something! Moving daily in exercise creates a momentum that carries forward in the rest of your life. Rigorous daily movement is my way of telling the universe, “I’m up, I’m moving, I’m ready, bring it!” The thing that has important for me to recognize with exercise is that I have to go even when I don’t want to, and I have to take key steps to getting there without thinking about the pain of it. In other words, I put on my shoes, get in my car, and go to my gym without thinking about the workout. When I get there, I deal with that. But there’s nothing painless about putting on shoes. So I focus on that.
Assignment: choose the type of movement that is healthy and rigorous for you and commit to some consistent engagement for the next 90 days. Start with your own next best move. Then as it becomes routine, ramp it up.
TIP # EIGHT: Physical clutter is indicative of mental and spiritual clutter. Cleaning daily and weekly is a great way to get your mind right since you see yourself clearing away that clutter and making space for simpler and better things. In our Sistahpreneurs Facebook Village, we do a 30-day de-clutter challenge each year.
Assignment: Clean your space of all clutter. If you have a lot to clean, do one project a day for 30 days. No matter how small – a drawer, a closet, a room. Make up your bed as soon as you wake up every day.
TIP # NINE: Clear your energetic space with sage, frankincense, and myrrh. An ancient practice developed by indigenous peoples, burning sage—also known as “smudging”—has been traditionally used to help clear negative energy. Burning sage can be done to keep yourself and environment energetically balanced. It is especially helpful when you’ve been around people who are depressed, fearful, ill, emotionally unbalanced, toxic, or angry.
Assignment: purchase a sage stick and burn it in your house and office. Pray and say positive affirmations while burning the sage and walking through the space. Also burn the sage when you meditate.
TIP # TEN: Seek the power of water. Water is a great healing agent. Water – and not Vitamin water or sparkling soda, but real, pure water – is your healing agent for your mental and physical health for your vitality and energy! Drink a gallon of water a day and wash your hands and face. Visit the ocean or river. Take epsom salt baths. Gargle salt water to remove excess mucus from the throat.
Assignment: create a plan and commitment to drink and include water in your Take Your Power Back 90 day challenge. Choose an action that will help you commit, like buying a new water bottle or ordering water service, or buying salt bath supplies.
TIP # ELEVEN: Spend time in nature. Get out in the sun and near nature. For me, nothing tops a day at the beach or an early morning mountain hike. But this globe has more natural wonders and nature experiences than we can count. Choose yours!
Assignment: Plan a date for yourself and nature. Plan as you would plan a special date for someone you love. But the person you love on this date – is you. Make a picnic and go on a hike, visit the beach, or go for a walk near a river or lots of trees.
TIP # TWELVE: Listen to affirmations while you sleep. On Youtube there are a ton of sleep affirmations, listening while you sleep is an easy way to tap into your subliminal level of thinking with positive thoughts. I’ve even listened to scripture at night while I sleep. I wake up feeling restored.
Assignment: Find a sleep affirmation you like on YouTube or elsewhere and play it every night for 90 days.
TIP # THIRTEEN: Fast from complaining. DO NOT complain. DO NOT call your friends to complain and vent. It only helps manifest the situation that you are complaining about. Don’t focus on what’s wrong and what you don’t want. Turn your attention to what you do want and go get it. Don’t focus on what other people have done to you. Turn your attention to what you do want and go get it.
Assignment: Ask someone who is close to you to notify you if you complain about something so that you can recognize it when it happens. Ask them to prompt you to counter the complaint with a positive, “make lemonade out of lemons” comment or affirmation.
TIP # FOURTEEN: Get still – don’t fight or resist. Wait for the unfolding and flow with it. Look within to find your answers. Sometimes venting, talking, planning, complaining, problem solving, and advocating are all ways of telling the universe and creator that you don’t trust that things will work out. Watch what you think, say, and do – the universe will process your order. I’ve found that when “ish” goes awry, I can make it worse by trying to fix every damn thing. Sometimes it’s best to continue moving forward with your focused acts and let madness unravel itself without distracting you and taking your energy. When you get still, you’ll make more thoughtful and impactful decisions about what words and acts can move you forward and you’ll often find that are more opportunities than you thought, to let things be.
Assignment: meditate daily, asking for your daily assignment and for answers to questions or challenges – and then just listen for some time before taking any action.
TIP #FIFTEEN: Visit a credentialed, reputable holistic healer. Whether it’s a naturopathic doctor, a doctor of chinese medicine, an acupuncturist, a chiropractor, or a reiki practitioner, gifted and skilled holistic healers can help you get in touch with a deeper body of mental, spiritual, and emotional work that you can do to heal yourself. They can help you understand connections among your mind, body, and spirit. They can also help you interpret messages and wisdom that come in the form of physical ailments and disease. They can recommend safe, natural remedies.
Assignment: do some homework to find a holistic healer in your area. Schedule a consultation.
To repeat, the bottom line is that we are all faced with hard times, tough situations, and periods where we lose hope or go into a funk, but we also have the power to save ourselves. It’s about making choices to change our thoughts, beliefs, words, and actions so that we can manifest the lives we desire and walk in our purpose. For 90 days, I challenge you to use 3 or more of the items from this list to change your story. Comment below or email me to let me know how it goes.
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