Think about your day at a glance. The early start and late ending, the fires you put out, the random unexpected turns, the 40 directions that the kids, the business, the man, and the family have pulled you in. Then let’s not forget the boards we sit on, the service projects, the bills, church and the household chores. For my fellow single mothers, double the load in your vision.
I had to do this rundown, Sis, because I need you to take another look at your superwoman alter ego and celebrate you. Too many of us mompreneurs tell ourselves lies that threaten our success even in light of the #blackgirlmagic we display every day.
Conquering the mind’s negative or dark thoughts is key to your success. Thoughts like these negatively impact your energy, actions and outcomes. They threaten to kill your dreams and breed sickness in your mind and body. Acknowledge thoughts of self-doubt and insecurity! Don’t let them come and go as they please with no mental chaperoning. See and release them.
The thoughts below are examples of thoughts that stop many mompreneurs from living our dreams. Read and then denounce them with the affirmation below:
Mompreneur Lie #1: I am unqualified.
My good friend and I often have discussions about imposter’s syndrome. Impostor syndrome is when high-achieving individuals are unable to internalize their accomplishments and have a fear of being exposed as a “fraud”. Maybe you’re a stay-at- home mom who tortures herself with “compare and despair” as you re-enter the business world. Perhaps you’re a mompreneur who has fewer degrees than your colleagues, and you tell yourself that you are less than or without enough fancy credentials. Whatever your reason for feeling unqualified, here’s my affirmation for you, Sis.
Affirmation: I am qualified. I acknowledge my self-worth and my gifts. I choose to stop apologizing for being me. I am the only person who can do what I was sent in this life to do. I live my purpose. I am worthy of abundance and prosperity. I am enough.
Mompreneur Lie #2: I am selfish.
One of the best things that we can do to be whole, fulfilled, and productive as mompreneurs is to say no sometimes and commit to self-care. Take the vacation alone – it’s ok. Leave the work on the desk while you go for the yoga class or the run. It will still be there when you get back. Drive up to the mountains with your girls and the kids will be fine with the babysitter for one day. Tell your colleague you have a hard stop at 4:30p.m. today so you can go to Bible Study. You’re not selfish for investing in nurturing and restoring your mind, body, spirit. What car gets you where you need to go on no gas, oil change or tune-up? Not one. You tell yourself that your people need you, and they do. They need you to be well. Your good health is part of your responsibility as a mother and leader.
Affirmation: I am free from expectations and criticism. I am worthy of love and restoration. I choose me.
Mompreneur Lie #3: I am a failure.
I actually thought about not including this one because I ran an innovation lab and I’m a rapid improvement coach — and I deeply believe failure is critical to ultimate success. One of my favorite quotes about failure is by Napolean Hill. He wrote, “Most great people have attained their greatest success just one step beyond their greatest failure.”
You’re supposed to take the scary step and launch the business even when things aren’t perfect. Yes, you’ll probably fail sometimes at balancing home and work. Yep, you just might lose time, money or clients on this journey.There are countless business models that made million-dollar comebacks after epic failure. It’s what happens when resilient leaders continue to seek the breakthrough that comes after you think it’s a wrap. Keep going, Sis. Embrace failure. Make your mess your message and your test your testimony.
Failure is an event, not a person. YOU are NOT a failure. You are not a failure, even if an idea or venture doesn’t quite work out the way you’d hoped or happen on the timeline that you thought it would. You are not too old, and it is not too late.
Affirmation: I am successful. I am not my mistakes.
Mompreneur Lie #4: I am alone.
The truth is: you can be in a marriage, a room full of people, or on a stage in front of millions of cheering fans, and feel alone. On the other hand, you can be in a forest all alone in complete silence for a day and feel love all around you. Conquer loneliness by getting comfortable with silence, me-time and acknowledging the deep love inside, and the presence of God in your space. Especially for my single mompreneurs, thoughtfully create a network of people and activities in your life that do offer love and support, but don’t distract you from this work of self-fulfillment.
Accept the devastating break-up – it was probably needed. The business partner who left was supposed to – there is great success waiting for you as a solopreneur. Maybe you’ve lost friends because you need space to open up for great relationships and opportunities to enter. Practice gratitude and write a list of things and relationships that you are grateful for: including relationship with pets, nature and God. Extend grace and don’t score people’s love for you by their frequency in communication. Love is all around you and you will receive everything you need to succeed in proper time.
Affirmation: I am abundant, safe and supported. I am loved.
On this Mother’s Day, I celebrate the wisdom, love, joy, purpose, and contributions that Black women bring to the universe, our communities, and our families. I celebrate the women who raised me and my powerful lineage of strong, loving Black women. Happy Mother’s Day to ALL of my mompreneurs on the grind for a life full of passion, purpose, and profit. Manifest your wildest, craziest, tallest dreams! It is written.
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